December 18, 2022
Media Influence: Masculinity, Sexual Stigmas, and the Patriarchy
The media is constantly bombarding people with the dominant views of society, regardless of if they are harmful or beneficial. One of the major systems within our society is the patriarchy, controlling perceptions and stereotypes surrounding masculinity and femininity. A patriarchal society is defined as one in which men hold the majority of the power and non-men are largely excluded from it. It is primarily discussed how this system affects people who are not cisgender, heterosexual men. As important as it is to note the impact on those directly oppressed by the patriarchy, it is equally as important to acknowledge the detrimental effects that negative examples of masculinity can have on men. Toxic male stereotypes such as masculinity and sexual stigmas are reinforced by how the media and patriarchy are intertwined with one another.
Toxic masculinity can present itself in many different ways, but centers around the value that men should not show any emotion besides anger and aggression. The idea that dangerous and violent behavior is associated with being a man is subtly reflected through virtually every type of media. Most examples of masculinity go undetected in some of our favorite films, such as Home Alone (1990). Kevin McAllister is an eight year old boy who is accidentally left behind when his family goes on vacation. The first thing that the boy does is go to his parents' bathroom to celebrate his freedom. He tries to shave his face and flexes in the mirror in an attempt to mimic his father’s actions, in addition to other male representation in his life. Kevin watches a violent gangster movie on repeat while he is alone to the point where he can cite the lines and imitate the actions of the gang members. This is yet another example of how male hostility is displayed toward Kevin. Even within another movie, it is shown how films can promote toxic masculinity. It is clear that Kevin McAllister takes note of the actions from the movie once the burglars show up at his house. Instead of allowing himself to be afraid and call the police for safety, he proclaims that he is the man of the house and that it is his duty to protect. Kevin’s plan for security involved various scare tactics that progressively got more violent. He started by imitating gunfire as the criminals were at his door but when that did not deter them, Kevin took greater measures to terrorize them. From here on, every plan to keep the burglars out included Kevin hurting the men, whether directly or indirectly. Some of his tactics could have clearly killed them, or at the very least seriously injured the men, such as the heavy iron dropping toward their heads. It is important to emphasize that Kevin is an eight-year-old boy who was using alarmingly violent ways to protect himself. Considering that Home Alone is a Christmas movie, people tend to believe that it is an appropriate film for their family to watch. However, the movie indirectly strengthens the idea that male aggression is an acceptable response in place of fear or sorrow. The unseen toxic masculinity in films can further put pressure on men to conceal their feelings and conform to patriarchal ideas of masculinity.
In addition to movies influencing the concept of masculinity in society, music lyrics can also send a clear message of toxicity to men. In the song “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure, the title alone pushes a narrative that men should not express any emotions that are labeled as sensitive or feminine. Looking into the lyrics of the song, they sing “I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes ‘cause boys don’t cry.” Even in a song about heartbreak, the same patriarchal standards of trying to suppress emotions are conveyed. Music is often listened to without any regard for the lyrics, meaning that these harmful messages are easily normalized in society. A more recent example of music that has damaging lyrics to masculinity is the song “So Much Better” by Eminem. He sings in the chorus “my life would be so much better if you just dropped dead.” Once again, this is a song about heartbreak and betrayal, yet instead of expressing the emotional agony of the situation, the reaction is rage to the point that he wishes death upon the person. These examples display hypermasculinity, or an “extreme conformity to the more aggressive rules of masculinity” as defined in Inequalities: Men and Masculinities (Wade and Ferree 127). Wade and Ferree go on to explain how hypermasculinity is typically idealized in music but also “in action movies and video games that glamorize male violence.” Taking into account how much younger generations are exposed to media outlets, toxic masculinity is promoted to them at an increasingly early age.
The ways in which hypermasculinity affects men long-term have been studied and the results are frightening, especially for younger men. Innovation Unit, an organization that works to address inequalities and the systems surrounding them, conducted studies in 2016 and 2018 that showed national statistics for weapon usage and serious violent crimes. They revealed that 87% of weapon users were men in 2016, particularly young men. Similarly, men made up 74% of offenders and 69% of victims connected with serious violent crimes in 2018. Although the study was not directly linked to media exposure, it can be inferred that this was a leading factor to why the majority of those involved in violent crimes are men. Regarding this, the blame should not be solely on men but on the systems that shape them. The movie and music industries are largely to blame, however, they too are not the only ones. Patriarchal systems are embedded in our society which means they are also ingrained within media outlets that represent dominant views of society. Innovation Unit suggests some solutions to the issue of toxic masculinity including a curriculum in schools to navigate the pressures of masculinity and femininity. This curriculum could teach positive anger expression, respect for womanhood, and accountability for actions. Additionally, I think that to combat hypermasculinity in our society we must start by calling out where we see it in media outlets as well as why there are so many examples of it in the media.
The ways in which media influence can affect people’s personal lives is startling. Sexual stigmas are promoted everyday through magazines, movies, music, and porn. There have been some discussions about breaking down sexual stigmas for women, however, conversations surrounding male sexual stigmas are seemingly nonexistent. Pleasure for men is labeled as a taboo subject to talk about which results in an immense amount of shame and misconceptions. Hello Cake, a company that makes products to help people have more pleasurable sex, uses their platform to break down common sexual stereotypes. In one article they published titled “How to Guide: Killing Stereotypes of Anal Play,” they noted how the anus and anus canal are very sensitive for all sexes. However, those with male anatomy also have a prostate which is known as the male G-spot. Studies have shown that by stimulating the prostate gland, climaxes can be up to 33% more intense. This can be done in many different ways such as stimulating it with the mouth, fingers, or sex toys. Since anal play is proven to lead to stronger orgasms, then why is it so stigmatized? In Gayle Rubin’s essay Thinking Sex: A Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality, she details the sexual hierarchies that have existed within our society for decades. This system of hierarchy places certain sexual acts that are deemed normal and appropriate above others that are looked at as perverted. Rubin notes how the media supports this idea through the constant showing of socially acceptable sexuality. It becomes apparent where sexual stigmas for men come from when “[t]hroughout much of European and American history, a single act of consensual anal penetration was grounds for execution” (Rubin 151). With laws existing that prohibit certain sexual acts, it makes sense that there would continue to be shame surrounding them even after the laws are removed.
In addition to the societal pressure to conform to heteronormative sex acts, there is also a patriarchal aspect that adds to the stigmatization of anal play on men. Touching back on how masculinity is valued over femininity in the patriarchy, this applies to sexuality as well. Anal play typically puts the man in a submissive role, which is out of the societal norm of them being dominant. Therefore, anal play becomes feminized, causing men who participate in it to be seen as feminine. Moreover, when heterosexual men partake in anal play, they tend to be called gay, once again, on the basis of homosexual men being associated with femininity. Addressing sexuality and gender expression, there is no correlation. However, this stigma further proves how being perceived as feminine in our society is looked down upon. Considering this, anal play becomes stigmatized on the basis of both patriarchal standards and sexual hierarchies. The sex-negative narratives that the media popularizes result in numerous levels of sexual stigmas as well as misconceptions about sex.
Understanding how the patriarchy works within media industries to strengthen toxic masculinity and sexual stigmas for men is essential to begin to unpack the emotional damage done to men. In her essay Understanding Patriarchy, bell hooks supports this idea by noting that “[u]ntil we can collectively acknowledge the damage patriarchy causes and the suffering it creates, we cannot address male pain [and w]e cannot demand for men the right to be whole” (hooks 5). She goes on to say that in order to address the crisis of toxic masculinity, we must be willing to expose the true reality that “patriarchy has damaged men in the past and continues to damage them in the present.” Using a feminist lens to uncover and fight for these issues means that we must both allow men to express all of their emotions as well as support them for doing so. Acknowledging the trauma that men have sustained from media representations of toxic male stereotypes is the starting point for breaking down patriarchal beliefs.
References
admin. (2020, April 2). ‘Be a man’ - Toxic masculinity, social media and violence - Innovation Unit. Innovation Unit | Creating Impact - Reducing Inequalities - Transforming Systems. https://www.innovationunit.org/thoughts/be-a-man-toxic-masculinity-social-media-and-violence/
hooks - Understanding Patriarchy.pdf. (n.d.). Google Docs. Retrieved December 15, 2022, from https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aYrlGg62ShAn4fOkB6uOV96InRmwlrHq/view
Killing stereotypes of anal play. (n.d.). Hello Cake. Retrieved December 15, 2022, from https://hellocake.com/blogs/sex-ed/how-to-guide-killing-stereotypes-of-anal-play
Rubin-Thinking-Sex.pdf. (n.d.). Google Docs. Retrieved December 15, 2022, from https://drive.google.com/file/d/1b4X6uAMZO6O_Nwqun19wsezIkWJKuV3C/view
Wade, L., & Ferree, M. M. (2014). Gender: Ideas, interactions, institutions. W. W. Norton.