September 3, 2024

There’s this notion that police officers can do whatever they want with whoever they want at any time. In fact, this notion stands within oaths and the Constitution for the sake of “protection.” I keep saying again and again and again, protection of who? Who is being protected?​ Legal killing exists, and it exists within the state. The judicial system, police departments, and military teams are allowed to kill people with little pushback or consequence. Does no one else find it weird that when citizens kill citizens it’s murder but when the state kills citizens it’s justified and “necessary?” People often say that violence and war and death and hunger are just part of our society. These are regulars that people barely blink an eye over. When did it become normalized for people to sleep on the streets? When did it become normalized for people to starve? When did it become normalized for people, families, kids to be murdered over and over again? I ask myself, ‘Is this world broken? Is it too late for everyone?’ I still haven’t found my answer. I live in agony sometimes because of the state of the world, because of the racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia (since when are there all these isms and phobias?) that not only exists but thrives. I cry often. I cry for the wars and the genocides. I cry for my people because I believe that humans are my people. We are all one people. At times I am immobilized, feeling lost in my head and out in this world. I grieve so heavily over these things while I watch as others laugh. I think about the kids. The millions of kids in this world that are suffering and living through the unimaginable. Since when did the unimaginable become reality? Or maybe it’s always been this way. But I reject that. People are not born with hatred or violence. Rather, it is learned and developed and becomes part of a person. But I don’t necessarily believe that either. Every person has good in them, even if they are too sick, traumatized, brainwashed, or manipulated to show it. Being soft and gentle is not weakness; it is the strongest thing that can exist in this world. Stronger than bombs and gunfire and oppression is love. Love has always and will always be here. I love my family and the family that has come before me. I love my friends and the chosen family I have found. I love animals and their innocence in life. I love nature and how the sky lights up at certain times of the day. I love the seasons that display how change is good and necessary. I love many things in this life. But I do not love this life itself. Love is strong and will outlive hate but it also exists within hurt, betrayal, grief, and agony. Love is what makes me feel so much I think. I have so much love for people that it hurts so much to see them struggle. If I could hug every person in the world, I would. Everyone needs and deserves love. And love is inside of everyone. Even those who kill and destroy, they have love. And especially those who uplift and rejoice with one another and come together in community. They have love.