March 30, 2020

My Loss

Not even my loss and yet i was mourning

Or maybe i was trying to mourn

Or felt like i should be

I felt like i should feel that way

Because others i know have felt that way?

Because i feel i deserve to feel that way?

One couldn’t tell what is going on within my soul

Why do i feel like i should be mourning?

Why do i feel like i should go through loss?

Perhaps i need the experience of going through it

Or just need a reason to let everything out.

I would never wish for a loved one to pass away

Their lives taken from me forever

Why would i want to feel this way?

I think it is something everyone must go through

Maybe i feel sheltered since i haven’t gone through personal loss

Why would i want to lose someone i love though?

I want my heart to break for some reason

Or need it to break

Character development? Attention?

A million worrying reasons why but i couldn’t tell you which it is.

I just remember being there,

Not having known the person,

Never having met them,

I was trying to be overcome by the sadness

However it was not my loss,

I had not lost anything

Or perhaps what i was mourning

Was the loss of part of my best friend

Who was the one losing the most.