November 30, 2022

My Morning

Immediately after I woke up this morning, I felt the guilt of last night come over me. My anxiety presented itself quickly through nausea and weighed me to my bed. Eventually, I broke free of the invisible shackles that are my mental illnesses and forced my meds down my throat. I then flipped my reed sticks over (out of habit) so the scent carried through the room stronger and laid back in bed. My roommate was awake getting ready but I couldn’t bring myself to do it yet. The intense feelings from the night before, about my family, about myself, kept me bolted into my bed, for that was all I had the effort to do. Five minutes before leaving for breakfast, I put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, the first ones I could find. My friend Diego was waiting outside the door for us, as he does everyday, and we all went down to breakfast. I muscled through eating and picked at the soggy eggs on my plate. The only edible savior I had was the banana french toast. I walked back up alone, listening to a song that I shouldn’t have been listening to. A song that I would listen to on repeat until I arrived back in my room. Once there, I took a shower which made my bad thoughts go to the background (that and my meds kicking in). I had a productive morning and did my homework due tomorrow before heating up some of my mom’s cheesy potatoes for lunch. I ate these with a mug of hot green tea to calm my nerves before gathering my backpack, locking the door, and trudging in the rain to class.